when i was 12 i made a deal with my dad that if i didn’t date until i was 16 he’d owe me $100 AND I FUCKING REMEMBERED THE OTHER DAY AND MY DAD SAID IT WAS "RIDICULOUS ENOUGH TO BE TRUE" HE’S ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE ME $100
so my dad come home today and was like “katie i did it i got your money”
he gave me 100 one dollar bills
my dad gave me 100 one dollar bills
i can pretend to be a super star
i am a queen
i made it rain on my mom
i deal with my personal problems the same way i study for tests
you know a character is your favorite when you’re torn between wanting to love and nurture them in a motherly way and savagely fuck their brains out and also punch them in the face sometimes
Nobody scares me more than drunk white men in numbers.
accidentally picked the wrong seats in an airplane/theater au?
hugged the wrong person from behind au?
wrong person waved back au???
TOOK THE WRONG COFFEE ORDER AU
THE MAILMAN DELIVERED A WEIRD PACKAGE (sEX TOYSSS) TO THE WRON GHOUSE AU
WALKING INTO THE WRONG DORM ROOM AU
SAT DOWN IN THE WRONG CLASS AU
CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER AU
GOT INTO/WAVED AT THE WRONG CAR AU
TOOK THE WRONG LUGGAGE AU