Me: world cup, transfers, anxiety, new players, miss my team, tears
END OF hoty part of SUMMER:
Other people: OH NO SCHOOL,BOYS,MAKE-UP,CLOTHES!!!
Me: da leagues startin'
Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser
you know if i was a young boy and my father took me into the city to see a marching band i would actually be pretty pissed if he said son when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned like dad im trying to enjoy this parade can we talk about this later jesus christ
the sound of teenage girls laughing near you when you’re by yourself is literally the most terrifying thing a person can experience
a boy just asked me if we could play ‘the question game’ so I said ‘ok would you rather have a vagina on your forehead or penises going down your back like a stegosaurus?’ and he hasn’t replied
a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan
years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal
he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”
I DONT GET IT????
This is how fucking stupid you sound when you say, ‘No homo.’
do u ever just cum and it ain’t great and ur like “ok that one was super lame”